When you meet someone you say “Wow, you’re great!” and they respond “I think you’re great too!” Then you enter the Relationship Tunnel. At the beginning of the tunnel is ice cream and restaurants and what seems like endless sex.
However that’s just the entrance. The tunnel is really mostly made up of mirrors. Big ones, small ones, ones that make you look skinny, and ones that make you look fat. Ones that make you bigger than you really are and ones that make you really really small.
At first all of these mirrors seem like a lot of fun. You and your partner can’t stop looking at yourselves and each other in awe and amazement. But then at some point when you get far enough into the tunnel you get disoriented. You lose your point of reference. You forget what your partner looks like and even worse you forget what you look like. The mirrors play tricks on you. You can no longer tell where they begin and you end. The next thing you know you’re shouting “AaaaaaaaaahhhHHHHhhhhhh!!!!! You’ve got three heads!” It’s at this point you begin to see each other in new and confused ways. Terrifying ways!
You may at this point want to leave the tunnel, but it’s not as easy as you think. First off, you didn’t see this three headed monster coming so if you got out of the tunnel who knows what type of other terrifying things you might find when you leave!
Second all those mirrors make it really difficult to find an exit especially one that feels safe.
Third, hard as it is to remember, you try to imagine how they looked at the beginning of the tunnel. “They didn’t used too have three heads” you think. At least you’re pretty sure.
At this point you reach out and touch them. You muster up all of your courage to meet your fear. You close your eyes and think “This is the last time I’ll see you hand! I’ll miss you hand!” But then you are surprised! You don’t lose your hand. In fact your hand lands on something soft. You feel around a bit with your eyes still closed. You find a head, but where are the others? You can’t find them. So you open your eyes, suddenly the heads come back, but it’s different. You recognize your hand! You were able to orient yourself by feel! You grab your partner and pull them along with you and as you move forward away from that mirror you notice that their extra heads are gone. “Don’t stand there !” you blurt out with a gasp!
This part might lead to some confusion. Your partner might have thought they were standing in front of the mirror that made them beautiful, but to you all the other mirrors made them look terrifying. Or maybe they wanted to look scary on purpose knowing they’ll never get to be this frightening again. Either way it’s a pretty scary proposition to go back to that mirror and talk about what you see.
At this point you might find yourself quite nauseated and frightened. You are eager to get out, but be careful, getting out of the tunnel can have the same disorienting effects as getting into the tunnel. You might see them in the light of day and think “what was all that fuss about?” You might even say it out loud. “Hey what was all that fuss about?” And they’ll look at you, bewildered, and agree that they don’t know either.
“Maybe we should go back in?” you hear yourself say. “After all there is all this sex and cake laying around! I won’t get scared this time. Promise!” And so you both go back in. Just like that your partner runs over to the mirror that gives them teeth and a lions mane and you run away screaming while you hear the sound of “you promised, prommmissssseeedddddd, prrrroommmisssseeeeddddd” echo behind you chased by a menacing laugh.
Or maybe you think I must master this hall of mirrors! Though I am constantly terrified and unsettled, I should be able to conquer this fright.
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